Honestly?

Honestly...
I dunno.

I'm rather in a state of confused unconfusion.

Hmmm...
Maybe if I were to interact with that person again, I'd know.

Or not.

For if nothing changed, what good would it do me?

I just can't rid myself of these thoughts.
And I'm dying just to lose them.

Where have all the flowers gone?
Pensacola.
Pensacola.

Florida Babe.
Lest you stay there.

And I shall never know.

Opposition #1

I found the first obstacle to the suicide of me, today.

Upon declaring a music major, my grandmother said I needed to "get real" and do something else as well.

I explained to her that my God is bigger than the normal job system of America, and she needed to have more faith.

Don't think she was convinced. And it's weird because she has always supported everything I ever wanted to do.

I won't let it get to me.

Operation Suicide for the Soul is still a go.
And will be as long as I stay on God's path.

A little suicide for the soul

I don't know if it's just me
But it seems that things aren't changing
Every day is pretty much the same
With a little rearranging
If I do nothing I can't fail
No blistered hands, no broken nails
Killing time, I'm paralyzed
With faded dreams and hollow eyes

I've been waiting for a revelation
For a moment of clarity
Conflicts and convolutions
Ricochet inside of me
There comes a time for throwing caution to the wind

I'm goin' in.
Like a Kamikaze.

I’m giving up on giving up slowly,
On blending in so you won’t even know me
apart from this whole world that shares my fate...

And this one last bullet you mention
is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away...


And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don’t want nothing to hurt me...

I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end...

I've been open to persuasion
Wanting someone to take the lead
It's a little disconcerting
Signing up for eternity
There comes a time for throwing caution to the wind
And so my life begins

I'm going in.
Like a Kamikaze.
Leap of Faith.
And I finally feel alive.

Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you....


(For those confused, I'm talking about "throwing my life away." I'm giving up on trying to be "successful" and on living life like I have so far. In a way, I AM committing suicide, because from this day forward I'm no longer going to be who i've always been. I'm kicking that to the curve, because it's amounted to nothing. I'm gonna devote the rest of my life to doing what God wants of me.)

Thanks to:
Relient K
Five Iron Frenzy.
Those are a remix of their lyrics.

I Win!

Incredible savings at Ralph Lauren Outlet in Katy Mills.

God gave me some opprotunity to get some new threads I guess.

The Ocean And The Sun

The Sound of Animals Fighting have a new cd coming out in September!

There may be a new animal in the midst of the squabble.

And Follow this clickable picture to see a groovy vid on the matter.

Jump up and down

Yesterday I realized that with all the customizations I want, the computer is now about $1600, since it's no longer on sale...

Wanna donate?

A summation of my day so far.

It's been rather Sluggish lately.

I feel most alive out in the Sun.

I should begin to work out again soon.

In fact I did yesterday.

Taking a day off, even though I don't wanna.

Food Eaten so far:

Weird Nachos (not many, so it wasn't that bad for me)

Experimental Risotto(made with Teximati Rice cooked in Chicken Broth, a little butter, cheese, and milk)

Nothing else eaten really.

It's stormy.

No sun today....